The 30 week mark has lots of mixed emotions, as does many benchmarks of this pregnancy. We never made it to 30 weeks with Caleb, and so far, all is going well at 30 weeks with this pregnancy.
Secondly, baby girl moves a LOT! It is both a blessing and a curse. My OB said it would be comforting to feel the steady movements, and it is. But those little and not so little kicks are also a reminder that there is a little one in there that at the moment is alive and doing well. I had prayed that by this point in the pregnancy I could breathe easier - ha! I should have known better. Both literally and figuratively, it is a difficult thing. With an impending delivery, new fears, worries and thoughts enter my mind.
I cannot help but think back to my last delivery, which within weeks it will be exactly 1 year since we delivered our Caleb. There were moments of those days that were so serene and peaceful, and yet other moments of pure grief and sadness. I cannot help but ask myself what emotions this delivery will hold - both grief and joy I can surmise.
Those two words play over and over in my mind on a regular basis. How can grief and joy coexist? You cannot feel one without the other in this instance, and I'm praying that the peace that held us those few days in the hospital last time, will hold us together once again during this delivery and arrival of our baby girl.
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