Dr's Apt with the boys

We have been very cautious about taking the boys to any Dr's appointments involving the baby. In fact, it wasn't till a few weeks ago that they even knew they were doing to have a baby, let alone a baby sister.

Around week 17 Nathan came up to my belly, put his head on it, and said, "I know there's a baby in there." I was shocked. We had been so careful not to mention anything about the baby to him, yet he knew. I asked him why would you think that and he proceeded to touch my belly and say that it was hard, not soft like before. I tried to play it off by telling him mommy had eaten to much turkey over Thanksgiving, but he didn't buy it. Not. One. Bit.

So we told them. While sitting at dinner one night Dan told them that there was a baby in mommy's belly, we were going to pray that this one would be safe, and that it was a girl baby. Drew was over the moon excited, and began jumping up and down immediately. Nathan was cool, and acted as if he had known for weeks and thankful we were finally being honest with him.

This week marked the halfway point of the pregnancy. I am able to feel her move around everyday, and I almost cancelled my weekly appointment. Since it's Christmas break though, I knew the boys could go with us and hear the heartbeat. So we all went, and I held my breath.

Even though I had felt her moving around the night before, the weekly heartbeat appointments still cause me to hold my breath until I hear that little heartbeat. With the boys in tow today, I was a little more on edge. As we entered the elevator Drew asked a question about why we were going to the Dr's office. Before either Dan or I could answer, Nathan belted out, "To see if the baby's alive or not." We couldn't believe it. My little 6 year old was wondering the same thing we all had been thinking of the last twenty weeks. Was this little girl gonna stay with us? Or we she too, go to heaven?

We really haven't talked very much about Caleb to the boys. If they bring it up, we openly discuss it and talk about him in heaven, but other than that, we have left it up to them. When we have prayed for this baby girl in recent weeks, we have prayed that she would be safe and healthy, but not that she wouldn't die.