After loosing someone who is apart of you, someone near to you, someone you love, the little things become so much bigger. It's as if a magnifying glass has been taken to my life and all those tiny miniscule moments, moments I would have missed prior to loosing Caleb, have been magnified to such a great degree that it' now become impossible to miss.
Today, one of those moments occurred and I couldn't miss it if I was sitting there with my eyes closed.
This afternoon after the boys awoke from their nap, we took them swimming in the hotel swimming pool. Swimming has definitely become a highlight for all trips. The boys have a blast, mommy and daddy get to have some fun, and the boys sleep well! It's a win, win all the way around.
Today, on the way down to the pool Drew spotted the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in the lobby. We snatched up two for the rambunctious little boys we were toting to the pool and told them after a good swim they could enjoy them. Drew, our little chocolate lover swam for about 45 min. before we caved into his pleadings for the cookie. As he sat there wrapped in two tiny pool towels shivering from the cool wind, I watched him enjoy his chocolate cookie.
[Insert magnifying glass.] I couldn't help but stare. His beautiful profile, his long eye lashes and lips smacking on that cookie. His little pink toungue popped out every few bites to catch a scurmb or smudge of chocolate. It was divine, and I savored every moment as if I was the one enjoying the cookie.
How many times have I missed these moments previously? How many times have I let life, my to do list, and all the other day to day errands stand in the way of my magnifying glass? Reality hit me like a slap in the face: cherish the boys I have here and now, don't miss another moment.
There will be no swimming in the hotel pool with Caleb. I won't get to spoil him with warm, hotel cookies from the lobby. I won't be able to stare at his profile and see the long, beautiful eye lashes he inherited from me, or gaze into his eyes and thank the Lord for another day on earth with him.
I will have to wait. All those things will have to wait till heaven.
Through the tears and heartache, I will use my magnifying glass and find joy in the two boys I have here on earth. I will examine their shivering bodies wrapped in pool towels, their profiles when they managed to sit still, and their unique features ever so carefully. And like the country song says, 'thank the Lord for the gift of one more day with them'.
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